Motherhood & Mental Health by Sonia Gomez, MSW, LCSW
By Sonia Gomez, MSW, LCSW
Motherhood & Mental Health
As Mamas, we are often given the advice, ‘remember to fill your cup; you can’t pour from an empty one’. This piece of advice is one of thousands given to mamas as they navigate through motherhood. There’s also, ‘don’t forget to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others with theirs’. And then there’s the popular, ‘make sure to sleep when the baby sleeps’.
But what exactly do these mean in the context of the daily lives of mamas? With Mother’s Day fast approaching, it is incredibly important for us to not only acknowledge the impossible work that mamas do on a daily basis, but to provide awareness, support, and resources for mamas at every stage of their journey.
Perinatal and Postpartum Mental Health
From the beginning of pregnancy, mamas experience a plethora of physical and brain changes, leaving the door open to the development of perinatal mental health disorders. A meta-analysis study found that perinatal anxiety was prevalent in 1 in 5 women who were experiencing significant enough anxiety symptoms to meet diagnostic criteria for at least one anxiety disorder. This study also found a strong connection between perinatal anxiety and the development of postpartum anxiety and depression (2019).
According to the National Institute of Child and Human Development (NICHD), anxiety and depression symptoms that occur during pregnancy and within a year of giving birth, are considered medical conditions (2022). Medical conditions involving the brain, such as anxiety and depression, are serious and affect our ability to care for ourselves as well as for those around us.
According to CDC research, 1 in 8 women experience postpartum depression within a year of giving birth (2022).
Beyond Postpartum
Clearly, perinatal and postpartum periods are crucial times for mamas and their mental health. But mamas do not stop being mamas a year after delivering their babies. Furthermore, their children do not stop developing and reaching milestones. From toddlerhood to adolescence, every stage of children’s development brings new challenges and stressors for mamas to navigate.
For example, milestones such as crawling and walking cue mamas to find all outlets available to their baby and cover them. Toilet training cue mamas to be vigilant of their toddlers and pick them up to run to the nearest bathroom at a moment’s notice. The start of formal education brings a larger worry to the minds of mamas in the U.S. such as safety and security in the classroom. What’s more, the start of middle school and high school cue mamas to look for signs that their children’s mental health as well as their peer relationships are both healthy and thriving. And let’s not forget, this is all in the context of a global pandemic in a country with enormously burdensome macrosystems (political, financial, educational, etc).
So, what can we do?
We can check-in on our mamas. We can ask how they are really feeling. We can validate and empathize with all of the emotional and physical labor they are constantly doing. And we can offer support in whatever way feels the most helpful to them. This can look very different mama to mama, but here is a list of tasks commonly seen on our to-do lists:
-Clean (car, carseat, stroller)
-Dishes (run a dishwasher load, put away clean dishes, sanitize baby bottles)
-Laundry (towels, linens, baby/kids clothes)
-Food (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks)
-Water (clean + fill mama’s water bottle + the water bottles of their children)
-Pets (check-in on pets’ food and water)
-Physical activity (ask mama to go on a walk together or take over childcare while she does a physical activity on her own)
As mamas, we can also delegate some of these tasks to supportive people we trust. We can even choose (if funds are available) to outsource some of the tasks on our neverending to-do list. There is no shame in ordering groceries and having it delivered to your home. We can also turn to others mamas to sit in a space of shared experiences and comradery.
Finally, if we notice any of the following signs:
-Extreme sadness
-Unusual irritability
-Fogginess with trouble completing tasks
-Anxiousness around your or others’ children
-Significant and frequent feelings of guilt
-Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
-Going through the motions
-Scary and upsetting thoughts
(2022)
Please reach out to a mental health professional for evidenced-based treatment options.
Resources:
Supportive Sites:
https://postpartumprogress.com/
Books:
Breathe, Mama, Breathe by: Shonda Moralis, MSW, LCSW
Videos:
Self-compassion for Caregivers by: Kristin Neff
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJ9wGfwE-YE
Journal Prompts:
Do you know a mama? Most likely you do. What would it look like and sound like to check-in with that mama on their mental health?
Are you a mama or soon-to-be mama? What are some things that you find helpful and supportive that others can do to lighten the load?
What would it look like and sound like to ask for that support?
References
Depression Among Women | CDC. (n.d.). https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/depression/index.htm
Fawcett, E. J., Fairbrother, N., Cox, M., White, I. R., & Fawcett, J. (2019). The Prevalence of Anxiety Disorders During Pregnancy and the Postpartum Period. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 80(4). https://doi.org/10.4088/jcp.18r12527https://amkcounseling.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/website_child-1.pdf
Mom’s Mental Health Matters: Moms-to-be and Moms – NCMHEP. (2022, June 2). https://www.nichd.nih.gov/ncmhep/initiatives/moms-mental-health-matters/moms